All they want...

I am not full of many words tonight. Our days have been full of sick bellies and daily life stuff that leaves us a little sleepy...

I've started writing different posts over the last several days... but only one thing persists in my heart.

There is not much description or detail needed as I think we have all been there as a momma or a daddy... or maybe we are there right now.

God has been reminding me, several several times each day, as I busy myself finding that perfect gift for my kids... trying desperately to create Christmas memories of cookie decorating, magical reindeer food distribution, trimming the tree and smells of cinnamon...

The Lord whispers so gently to me... "All they want is you."

Although they love mixing frosting...
They adore the gift we spent so much time choosing just for them...
But as soon as the cookie is eaten and the wrapping paper is tossed aside...


The next thing my little guys ALWAYS say ... "Can you ___________with me?" Whether it's sit with me, play with me, watch a movie with me, eat with me, go outside with me... they always want to be with us. It's all they want.

Going to feed the deer.

Learning to use big guy tools.

 

Guitar practice.

Frequent wrestling session in progress.



"Momma, hold me..."

 

Lord, thank you for reminding me that our love and attention is all they really want. It's what they really need. As we lay with them at night to say prayers, read and sing... as we look directly into their eyes because I know how much I like to be heard so I try really hard to hear them... help me to always be present. Remind me that the dishes can wait, laundry will be there tomorrow, and although my alone time is important... these precious moments with our little guys count more than anything.

 

May the moments we invest in them reflect your love, SHINE your truth and stick with them forever.

 

Most of all, Lord, thank you for wanting me above all else in this world. Amen

 

In this journey together,

Jessica

 

I cried...

Griffin started pre-school this past week... only 3 days into it and he already has shown himself to be beyond ready for this next big step!

The hours leading up to the first day proved that maybe this momma's heart isn't so ready...

 



It's funny, when Hunter started pre-school, I never cried. I really didn't. He was confident and more than ready to start. So was I. His first day, we dropped him off, kissed good-bye, ran some errands, then picked him up. Bam. Hunter was in school. Our house and my emotions never skipped a beat.

 

This time around, Griffin is an entire year younger than when Hunter started... and probably 10x's more ready. Yeah. Multiply a kid completely ready for school by 10 and that's my youngest. He's amazing.

10,000 reasons...

In the design of our lives, we each have our own unique pattern that is being woven before us, through us and around us. Sometimes we don't always see the importance of sharing our design with others... we see it as unfinished and needing work. We may not know what the next part is going to look like so we want to wait until our 'design' is finished, put together and presentable. We want to see the completed work before we share it with anyone else.

There has to be a level of vulnerability to allow others to see our lives 'in the making'. Especially when there are so many complex fibers that make up each part.

But our lives were designed as a journey, a constant weaving from the moment we inhale our first breath until we exhale our last. We all know that a journey is traveled best with a friend. It's nice to have someone to talk to on the open road, to help guide you down the winding paths or when it gets foggy. Noone wants to be alone when they get a flat tire or get into an accident. The best part about arriving at a destination is sharing it with someone.

Life is meant to be shared.

We can't always worry about exposing the flaws in our design, or lack of direction in our journey. That's exactly why we need each other. To share the very things that make us imperfect. To triumph together over the moments that stitch well together. To bind together around those of us who are too overwhelmed and weak to function alone.

There are a bundle of reasons out there that I have came up with in my head not to come back to this space. It began as just a place to jot the crazy moments in life so I would laugh instead of scream. But the Lord has nudged me for many months now. Many.

There are so many MORE reasons to be here, to share.

It scares the bejewels out of me.

So today, moments away from my little guy starting a brand new big adventure... I embark on mine. Today I promise to open up our life (thank you Instagram for helping me begin to do this without having a panic attack) to share my life design, my journey in progress. It's at times messy, loud, insanely chaotic and unorganized. I fail often, procrastinate and drop the ball. I tend to get overwhelmed and curl up in a ball wanting to quit. But I'm reminded of the many times a lot of you were our support when we were weak and exhausted from it all, you prayed for us, many times you didn't know how bad it was and how much your simple words carried us. That's a huge reason for me to be here, if I can be that for just one other momma in my shoes.

My little loves are my reason to challenge the world to love and accept and serve...

 

As my pattern continues to weave before me, around me and through me ... I'll search my heart for the moments that need to be shared. For the knowledge that could help. For the opportunities that could inspire. The reasons to keep coming here.

 

May they always be led back to the ONE reason my life exists and matters. The thousands of reasons my heart will find to praise Him.

 

In this journey with you,
Jessica